Once upon a time there was an idea that struck a very eager entrepreneur as the basis for the creation of an amazing enterprise. As time passed, this visionary’s dream began to generate amazing products and services that not only changed the world, but the way the people who used these great products and services began to see themselves. One user of this company’s fantastic, revolutionary, and cutting-edge technology transformed itself overnight into a dynamic, global leader in people to people commercial exchange and a paragon of social action and responsibility.
Most likely he speaks this way because he just does not know the difference between the words “anxious” and “eager”. He is not alone. Unfortunately, in the battle of Anxious v. Eager, anxious almost always wins. This is simply because most people don’t know how to, or even more sadly don’t care to, correctly use these two words. Here’s why this is important.
It's all about planned spontaneity. About being able to sound more conversational and less like a computer, rotely spewing out memorized data without feeling or connection to your audience.
Memorization brings an unnecessary level of anxiety into play. I believe it is the #2 cause of speaker anxiety. In most situations, a speaker will only deliver their content one or two times. I would much rather listen to a well-organized, practiced, and connected speaker who is comfortable referring to their notes, than someone who tried to memorize their content but ends up apologizing over and over again for missing or forgetting sections of their speech. By the way, most audiences would too!
Speaking is as much an act of compulsion as its counterpart Silence. Both are an irresistible urge to behave in a certain way.
When I coach clients in both speaking and success strategies, I always help them draw distinctions between a Want and a Need. A Want is something you’d like to have. A Need is something you cannot do without.
Speaking, I believe, is an absolute Need. I can’t imagine a day going by without saying something.
It’s not that audience members are ego-centric, but they do want their needs satisfied. So, from a listener’s perspective they need to know what they might gain from listening to you in return for their time and attention investment. I call it “getting a bang for their butt”. Many speakers think the more you hold out the drama of your main point, the more the audience will stay engaged. You can do this to a point, but whatever you do it had better impart some indication of the promise to come. Otherwise, you’ll lose them.